Today marks my 6 month anniversary of being in Nicaragua and I’m pretty dang proud of myself. It is so not what I was expecting it to be like, but really what ever is?
My new daily routine consists of clutching for dear life to my pepper spray as I take a taxi, almost getting trampled over on public transportation, ice cold showers that I literally have to pump myself up for every morning, and walking 20 miles a day (just kidding more like 1, but give a girl some credit).
Some days this is literally just the worst, but others day I look at myself in the mirror and think, ‘Go you Courtney, you rock.’
Since I moved here I have gained a lot of new experiences. I have seen glowing lava inside of a volcano, gone to Aguizote – a Nicaraguan celebration where they dress up so scary they make grown men cry (just kidding again, I’ve never heard that but I almost peed my pants it was so scary), and gotten hit by a car. I have seen young children worship the Lord louder than I ever have, met amazing people running after God with their whole hearts, and felt complete joy when I see my step daughters running towards me at full speed. I have gotten my foot shut in the public transportation bus door and I have seen more people walking around the street drunk in the middle of the day than I can count. I have had my first puppy and felt the joy that brought, and I have also felt the pain of giving away said puppy. I have prayed over the poorest of the poor and felt a deep joy when they are excited to see me return.
I could keep going for days, but I’ll spare you the craziness these stories bring. These past 6 months have been completely opposite of everything that I hoped for, but they have not been for nothing.
Most people thought I couldn’t do it. It’s been hard. A lot of days just suck. But God has given me strength to keep going, because honestly without it, I wouldn’t still be here. Living in a different country is so hard and it is not for the faint of heart. There are a lot of exhausting days and a lot of language frustrations and a lot of loneliness, but you have to choose to get through it. I have become a lot more independent and faced my fears of going places by myself. I used to just freeze in fear at the thought of riding public transportation by myself (not joking here), but now it is a daily thing. My Spanish has improved (don’t ask Carlos that question) and I feel more comfortable speaking the language than I did before I moved.
I know this is a big pile of words with no flow and maybe too much negativity thrown in there and I don’t know what exactly I wanted to share with this, other than just letting everyone know that I am okay. Nicaragua can be scary and frustrating and lonely, but hey, I’m here and God loves me and all is good. I am praying so hard that I have a chance to go home soon to recharge my battery, but life is complicate ya know?
Please pray along with me for a clear direction from God and full faith in Him, however that looks for Carlos and me. Pray for strength, because I need it by the dozens. Pray for comfort throughout this holiday season as I will be away from my family (just writing that rips my heart out). Pray for our finances so that we can afford a car and a trip home. A car really has proven to be necessary for safety and stress relief, so I am not just writing that out of selfishness. And pray for our marriage, as the devil is always trying to pull us apart through our daily stress.
Tonight I will celebrate this achievement with my husband, good food, and silly talks. Yay for 6 months!
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16