6 months

Today marks my 6 month anniversary of being in Nicaragua and I’m pretty dang proud of myself.  It is so not what I was expecting it to be like, but really what ever is?

My new daily routine consists of clutching for dear life to my pepper spray as I take a taxi, almost getting trampled over on public transportation, ice cold showers that I literally have to pump myself up for every morning, and walking 20 miles a day (just kidding more like 1, but give a girl some credit).

Some days this is literally just the worst, but others day I look at myself in the mirror and think, ‘Go you Courtney, you rock.’ 

Since I moved here I have gained a lot of new experiences.  I have seen glowing lava inside of a volcano, gone to Aguizote – a Nicaraguan celebration where they dress up so scary they make grown men cry (just kidding again, I’ve never heard that but I almost peed my pants it was so scary), and gotten hit by a car.  I have seen young children worship the Lord louder than I ever have, met amazing people running after God with their whole hearts, and felt complete joy when I see my step daughters running towards me at full speed.  I have gotten my foot shut in the public transportation bus door and I have seen more people walking around the street drunk in the middle of the day than I can count.  I have had my first puppy and felt the joy that brought, and I have also felt the pain of giving away said puppy.  I have prayed over the poorest of the poor and felt a deep joy when they are excited to see me return.

I could keep going for days, but I’ll spare you the craziness these stories bring.  These past 6 months have been completely opposite of everything that I hoped for, but they have not been for nothing.

Most people thought I couldn’t do it.  It’s been hard.  A lot of days just suck.  But God has given me strength to keep going, because honestly without it, I wouldn’t still be here.  Living in a different country is so hard and it is not for the faint of heart.  There are a lot of exhausting days and a lot of language frustrations and a lot of loneliness, but you have to choose to get through it.  I have become a lot more independent and faced my fears of going places by myself.  I used to just freeze in fear at the thought of riding public transportation by myself (not joking here), but now it is a daily thing.  My Spanish has improved (don’t ask Carlos that question) and I feel more comfortable speaking the language than I did before I moved.

I know this is a big pile of words with no flow and maybe too much negativity thrown in there and I don’t know what exactly I wanted to share with this, other than just letting everyone know that I am okay.  Nicaragua can be scary and frustrating and lonely, but hey, I’m here and God loves me and all is good.  I am praying so hard that I have a chance to go home soon to recharge my battery, but life is complicate ya know?

Please pray along with me for a clear direction from God and full faith in Him, however that looks for Carlos and me.  Pray for strength, because I need it by the dozens.  Pray for comfort throughout this holiday season as I will be away from my family (just writing that rips my heart out).  Pray for our finances so that we can afford a car and a trip home. A car really has proven to be necessary for safety and stress relief, so I am not just writing that out of selfishness. And pray for our marriage, as the devil is always trying to pull us apart through our daily stress.

Tonight I will celebrate this achievement with my husband, good food, and silly talks.  Yay for 6 months!

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16



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